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Of Such Is The Kingdom Of God
by Lori Beiswenger
In the Beiswenger family, God uses the children to teach their parents about their relationship with Him. We begin with a bit of history. We set the stage.
Episode 1, June 2002
Over the last 18 years, my heavenly Father has shown me through my children glimpses into what I feel is the Kingdom life. On many occasions, He has shown me how their behavior is just a reflection of how I relate to Him. Other times He says: "You; could learn from them!"
When my firstborn son died just 24 hours after he was born, I had a lot of questions; but there was one question that wouldn't let me go. It wasn't the usual, maybe even ordinary, question of "Why;?" or "How; could this happen?" No, this question came after the funeral when I was presented with a "Memory; Book".; Inside the cover was a quote from Scripture... "Suffer; little children to come unto me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of God." (Luke 18:16). I had been raised as a Lutheran, confirmed at age 16, attended Sunday school, but it wasn't until this crisis that I really had a burning desire to know who God is. How was I to relate to an ancient book such as the Bible and actually apply it to my life? How could I ever get to know Him more intimately? Now more fervently than ever I needed to know where my son was for sure, and who he was with. Ultimately, I was born again. Over the next few years I grew in my relationship with Abba God.. It seemed at times He would pull me up on His lap and hold me like a baby. He cradled me through three more miscarriages, and a divorce.
It wasn't until I met Bruce that I actually heard God's voice. I was very frightened of the prospect of another marriage. I had been pouring out my fears and concerns to God when a voice inside my head that I didn't recognize as my own spoke! I had asked God if He wanted me to marry Bruce, and suddenly I heard in my head, "Yes;! I have great plans for the two of you!" I was very startled, but I believed I had heard from the Lord so I accepted Bruce's proposal.
Before we were married, I had a vision while washing dishes (yes, God does supernatural things even in the mundane things.) I saw myself in a garden at my soon-to-be father-in-law's back yard. I had a toddler with me and from the way I looked at her I knew she was mine. What a blessing for me to hold onto! It was as if God were showing me my future to give me hope for the children I desperately longed for.
After Bruce and I were married we were in agreement on wanting many children, but we both knew my history of being a "D.E.S.; daughter." This is a label the medical establishment has put on the daughters of women who took the drug Diethylstilbesterol. while pregnant. This is a hormone doctors then thought would prevent miscarriage. However, they found a number of negative side effects prevalent in the children (especially the daughters) of the women treated with this hormone. In addition to irregular menstruation, infertility, tubal pregnancies, cysts, miscarriages and premature deliveries, there are increased instances vaginal and cervical cancer. (The male offspring showed decreased fertility and a greater incidence of testicular cancer.) I apparently had at least two of the most common female side effects: the inability to carry full-term pregnancies, and ovarian cysts. I had prayed for healing and was trying to believe God had healed me.
After 16 months of marriage I had a dream. In this dream I saw Jesus face to face and He told me He had healed me and I was to be blessed with many children! That month I conceived twins! I carried to full term and delivered via c-section two very beautiful, healthy, full term baby boys. Four years later I delivered, again via c-section, a bouncing baby girl! We were rejoicing, however our joy had a cloud hovering over us. My husband and I both felt we could have chosen to trust God fully and delivered these children God's way and not by c-section. We knew in our hearts what a miracle it was for me to carry these babies to full term, and if God healed me enough for that, then isn't it ludicrous to think He couldn't deliver this next baby? So through a lot of soul searching, prayer, and repentance we began our journey in entrusting our children's lives, as well as our own, to God. Three years later we had our fourth child, our "Zion; Birth", and God delivered our healthy baby girl into her Daddy's waiting hands, in the bedroom of a home we had built together.
The stories I want to write will tell how God continually uses these precious gifts to us as His instructions for how we should relate to Him. Other times He uses our children to show me as a parent what He feels like when I do the same things to Him that my children do to me. This is how I have come to greater revelation knowledge of what He meant by "For; such is the Kingdom" and thus my stories contain personal, true-life episodes of how the Creator of the Universe, the great Almighty One, became a true father to us.
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